There are nights at the theatre you never forget, and one of them was a production of Ibsen's Ghosts at the National with a then unknown to me actor called Simon Russell Beale. He played Oswald, whose father has died of syphilis after a life of alcoholism and debauchery.
In the play, his mother sends Oswald away so he won't ever know the truth about his father, and, particularly, so that he won't ever follow the same path. And yet he does. Ghosts always reads to me as a play about the futility of attempting to suppress difficult truths — how it does the opposite of rendering them powerless. The unsaid festers and grows until it infects everyone with poison, or in the case of Oswald and his father, syphilis. I asked a counsellor who works at Great Ormond Street hospital with young transplant patients how he handles talking to very ill children and traumatised families.
They think they're protecting the child, but what they're really doing is protecting themselves from their own appalling fear of loss. Parental fear underlies a great deal of the dishonesty perpetrated in the name of protecting children. I couldn't survive if something happened to you so I must protect you at all costs, parents think. That's not about the child, it's about the parent. I once wrote about teen suicide, and a lovely, articulate teenage girl emailed in response, saying she understood what it felt like to self harm and attempt suicide. She did both on a regular basis. She's been under a lot of pressure with my depression and I don't want to upset her more.
Lies lead to more lies. The child who senses that the parent can't cope with her vulnerability will hide the truth. Which leads to a situation in which communication shuts down altogether. Not that the pain of children can always be solved.
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It can't. Any more than it can for adults. But the cases that chill me to the marrow are the "happy, well-adjusted" children who suddenly hang themselves, leaving desperate messages behind. What's hidden will grow into a monster. There is a theory that children's literature should uphold the idyll of childhood, offering charming scenarios and happy endings to protect the innocent from life's harsh realities.
But children have extraordinary antennae for the things no one will explain. If a child has enough imagination to conjure dragons and monsters under the bed, he has enough imagination to figure out that something adults won't talk about must be truly terrifying. Sex, for instance, divorce or death. And that's where literature can help — by exploring the scary stuff with insight and, on a good day, wisdom. Gloria's wonderful primary school headteacher once told me that at about age seven to nine, kids start to change, emotionally.
They start to separate from their parents, start thinking about death, worrying about being grown up. When I was about that age, I lay in bed, night after night, frozen with terror at the concept of eternal nothingness. I told no one, so no one told me that it's possible to combat the fear of death with a life well-lived, that death can be a relief and a release, not just a terrifying conclusion. I wish we'd talked to my daughter about my cancer. She was young, but she wasn't stupid.
Galatians, The truth will hurt. | Is There Noway Out?
It took a very long time for her to lose her fear of the dark, of being awake when all the grownups are asleep. Sixteen now, she's wonderfully independent, funny, thoughtful and brave. Do you ever think about me having cancer? As I can imagine, this is making many people very uncomfortable, as many cannot handle the Truth!
Many of us have been unsuspectingly complicit in the life-destabilizing social and financial engineering and to accept, that we have done more harm than good , can become now cognitively, emotionally and behaviourally destabilizing in and of itself and is the reason for the impasse we are in right now! Frantz Fanon lays bare this phenomenon of cognitive dissonance which is at epidemic proportions and is creating havoc across the world as you read. He wrote some time ago:.
It would create a feeling that is extremely uncomfortable, called cognitive dissonance.
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I agree with Yanis Varoufakis in that this repugnantly secret Deep Dark State is a conspiracy without conspirators, as there is no small group of individuals pulling the strings and controlling the system towards a desired goal. Our planetary global system is too complex for this to even be attempted or possible.
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So if not who, then what is regulating or governing the incoherencies in the system that is causing wasteful amounts of energy and resources to keep the totally life-dysfunctional globalized system afloat and prevent it from collapsing? The simplest truth of the matter is that we have a systemic regulating or governing structural value disorder of money sequencing of value the has been given primacy over life sequencing of value, and which has been unintentionally designed to put money profit over life profit.
This practice of persistent sincerely misguided self-deception only entangles us further if left unseen, tabooed and blinkered out in all of our de-liberations! Yet the globe-resource looting transnational corporate rich are plainly the most directly responsible agents of this greatest of all crimes against life on earth. They have gotten away with it for a long time and become ever richer at the expense of all the species. This Big Lie will only persist and the entanglement of deception will only get worse and life-destabilization will only ratchet up to a higher notch once there are lacunae in our understanding of this substratum of collectively orchestrated life-incoherent collusion due to this system value disorder.
Again, this is going to be a very painful process to accept, because many of us have invested much of our careers in destabilizing our spheres of influence while thinking we were doing good.
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This is not time for blaming anyone as the lacunae of ignorance of our sincerely misguided missteps have been spotlighted as a value system disorder that can and must be corrected. We were only doing the best we can given our level of understanding or lack thereof of these deceptions. These lacunae in our public knowledge base has consequences as I have gone to great pains to highlight above, as we have been regulated for the most part negatively by ignorance of what we knew not, rather than positively by the knowledge of how we can do better.
But since we now know, there is no going back!! So here is the most positive side of any painful Truth and the Reconciliation of this Painful Truth Seeking Exercise, as expressed in the timely and prescient quote by Prof John McMurtry:. Again, the Truth that we have been living and are enslaved to Big Lies will always hurt, as some of us cannot handle the truth because of cognitive dissonance. It is only in the public revelation of this Truth, would we be able to emancipate ourselves from this form of mental slavery and break-free from the shackles of ignorance and finally be truly set free!
This may be a consolation and a silver lining in these dark clouds of discernment which I have highlighted above. I will leave you now with this exhibit to reflect upon some more and ponder, and to search within to see how you have been complicit in these Big Lie schemes and how best to find solutions in overcoming the enslavement of cognitive dissonance and setting yourself, your family and your friends free!
Just in case you failed to browse the link to Yanis Varoufakus timely article on the Deep State above, I have reproduced the article in its entirety below:. Is there a Deep State in our western liberal democracies? Is this a figment of the imagination on those on the extremities of the political spectrum left and right , as this BBC Radio 4 program ends up concluding? Or is the Deep State something real, tangible — a clear and present danger for democracy? Finally, I return to the s and s, in order to highlight the manner in which Donald Trump and the new Nationalist-Fascist International is copying Goebbels and Mussolini in attacking the Deep State only in order to take it over and use it against those whose votes and attention they seek to appropriate.
Lastly, I put forward a radical idea of what to do about the Deep State: Nothing! Meaning: men hold the highest seats of power on the planet. Lizzo took the first line of the first verse from a viral tweet. She says this is the human in her. However, she is good at solving those problems as well. But people seemed to be scared off of her non-committal stance in a relationship. Lizzo says she could have helped them with their careers as much as she could. My point is, at least he stood up for himself.